Radioactive Rain

Hello. Today, we had an hour long assembly where an ex-convict came in and talked to us about life and decisions. He had been in prison for fifteen years, mainly for gang stuff and stealing. He was homeless since 14 (a rumour started that he was homeless because he chased his mother round the garden with a knife) and had to steal food to live. After that, he slipped into crime. He told us his life story which was more interesting than I expected. One thing he said that really stuck with me was:  "I'd do anything to swap places with you now. You have your whole lives ahead of you." I don't know what my life is going to be. I'm choosing my options for GCSE this year, we were given the first form this morning. They gave us the list of all the subjects and we had to chose four and rate those four with our preference I put-  1. Drama 2. Triple Science 3. Media Studies 4. French  I think I've made the right decision.  I managed to talk to...

Hi. On the way to maths, the sky was yellow. It looked like an Instagram filter or something... weird and almost hollow. It's an indescribable colour. We went to PSHE; by the time that was finished, everyone was shouting "Look at the sun!" (some said "Look at the moon!") I didn't get to see for a while as it was hidden behind a building but then I saw; the clouds had parted to reveal a weird, red-white orb in the sky. It was beautiful but also kind of threatening- like something you'd see on Dr Who. Everyone looked at it for a while but then the clouds covered it again and the sky continued to be yellow-orange-pink and looked hollow again. The air smells better- some people say it smells like tropical flowers and sandalwood.  So, Lithium and I went to the library (which is where we are now) to look up what had happened- turns out that it's related to the hurricane Ophelia- the wind is bringing up dust and air from the Sahara and the dust is...

I will go out to the bay and I will sit. I will sit on the cold, salty ground and look out at the rolling sea of an indescribable colour. And I will look out until I can look no further. My eyes soon meet with distant shadows of land so I stop. I can hear their voices but they don't notice me. Hair and eyes blend into seaweed. Skin becomes sand. A grey skirt fades into the wall and my breath is carried away by a hollow wind. Ten years from now, wherever I end up, I don't want to forget who I am now. These words won't mean a lot to other people but, for me, they sum up who I am at the moment.  She is one of the first to arrive at school and when she does it is empty so she notices things that seem to disappear as soon as the next person arrives. There is a lot of glass in her school- the glass is dark and reflective. Sometimes she likes the way her reflection looks in the glass. But that makes her feel vain. Other times, she can be having a nice day until the glas...

Hi and I think I'm losing it. I haven't written or posted anything in ages. I don't know why. So much has happened recently and yet I have nothing write about. I am so small and the distance between things is so big. Last summer, my mum and I drove down to St Ives in Cornwall- it took six hours. Six painful hours in a hot car as I watched yellow fields and white wind turbines drift bye. Tonight, I spent hours on google maps planning road trips or just dropping myself somewhere I'd never heard of. I saw Cornwall on the map and noticed how small, yet how big the distance is between there and Trogslight. And then I compared that to bigger distances- Trogslight to Wick at the very top of the country, seven hundred miles away.  And then I remembered a book I read about a cabinet maker called Alpha Coulibaly who lived in Mali. He couldn't stay there- he said he was rotting there in his town, Abidjan. His wife and son had already left to go to Paris and he said he ...

Hello. So, I'm back from Spain. It was pretty good but I was there when the Barcelona attacks happened. I wrote about it while I was there:  Today thirteen people died.  A van drove into a crowd of people on Las Ramblas in Barcelona.  Around a hundred were injured.  I'm still in Spain.  I wonder what was going through that crazy van driver's mind. I asked mum, she said "Hate." Did he choose which crowd he was going to run into? Did he target a specific demographic- young people with so many years ahead of them? Or was it just blind rage? Did everyone look the same to him? Sick. At the moment I just want to go home. Home to shitty little Trogslight where nothing ever happens other than that time they found that unexploded bomb. I want to sleep in my bed next to my bookshelf and ukulele thinking about Lithium or Nitrogen not "What if we never get home?" or "What if there's terrorism at the airport?" I cried earlier. ...

Hi. So my room's been painted and I really love it. Here are some pictures of my room, the place I usually write from:  Some of my books :3 A doodle I did last year and decided to hang up.   Piggy bank that I got for Xmas, ages ago. It was filled with Jelly Beans.  Lithium came round last week. She keeps saying that she 'ships' me and Lead. Ew, I mean, we're kind of friends and we laugh a lot but... just no.  Earlier this week I spent three days at this school in Hogsloom for a Drama thing. I was there from ten till four so it was basically like a usual school day- six hours with a lunch break. The first half of the day, we had this person, an actor or a producer, come in and talk to us about the industry. We'd have lunch- I sat with Lutetium every day, we're good friends now. She's really pretty and reminds me of Hermione Granger a bit. For the other half of the day we either made some short films or helped some girls w...

Hello. It's been a while since I last posted, sorry. At the moment, I'm about a week into the summer holidays. This is what I've done so far:  On Monday, I met up with Lithium and Iodine in Hollowmead *invented name*. We walked around the town and went into Sainsbury's, had lunch in an actual restaurant- we couldn't afford to get much so we bought four appetisers and brought our own drinks from Sainsbury's. We did get some one or two odd looks when people saw our plastic bottles of Vimto on the table. After that, we went to the river bank, watched the swans and ate eclairs. Lithium got annoyed at me and Iodine because we kept throwing chunks of brownie to the swans- they were only small chunks so if chocolate brownie is actually toxic to swans then they didn't ingest enough for it to do serious damage. We messed around in Boots for a while and after that we went home.  On Tuesday I walked into Trogslight- dunno why- I just felt like I needed so...

Hello. Yesterday something unexpected happened. I'll try to use mild terms because people say I'm overreacting. Yet again, I am shocked by the lack of emotional empathy some people have. They keep saying "Think happy thoughts!" or "Stay positive!" or "Look on the bright side!" What bright side?  Most bad situations have a silver lining but this is definitely not one of them. I am usually optimistic but I can't see how any good can come from this.  Sorry for being vague and maybe a bit over dramatic. I don't know how to write this down without calling anyone a bitch, typing in ALL CAPS, worrying anyone or lying. Words come so easily to me but now I feel like someone's jammed the passage from my brain to my fingertips.  I'll try to be as frank as possible- Uranium doesn't want to be friends anymore. I found out on Friday (yesterday). I knew something was up since Thursday but I wasn't sure so I asked Plutoni...

Hello. I haven't posted in ages- sorry.  So, we got some of our exam results back... I got 95% in English (I calculated the percentages from the marks I got in the essay as the the grading system won't make sense to everyone) and 80% in science! I'm actually really pleased. We've been having exams in other subjects too- I got highest in our class for computing and 100% in music. Haven't got maths back yet... (although I'm dreading it). *** It was Lithium's birthday on the weekend. Lithium, Barium, Iodine and I went to see a film. The film wasn't very good. We had pizza and overdosed on sugar. I felt like we were 9 or 10 again. Whenever we spent the night at Lithium's, we sleep in the caravan as her bedroom is small-ish and probably couldn't hold four energetic people. We put on Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.I cried two times. Lithium hugged me. Lithium and Barium went to sleep early so me and Iodine turned off the li...

"Happiness hit her like a train on a track...  Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back..." Hello. Emotions are weird. If you asked me when was the happiest I've ever been it wouldn't say a logical answer like my 9th birthday party when I took a day off school to go to Harry Potter Studios with my best friend. It should have been but it wasn't. It should have been the first time I took a bow on a "real stage" and listened to a beautiful applause when the lights shone on all our faces, transitioning from purple to blue to white. It was an amazing feeling but it wasn't the happiest I've ever been.  It was a warm day in July and we'd just came back from a school trip to the beach (it's a charity thing my school does every year for cancer- we take a bus from school to the beach and do a seven mile walk in the morning then go back to school and have free periods for the rest of the day). We'd spent most of our free period ...

Hello. So I know I promised to post ages ago and I still haven't done it but exams (for core subjects) are over now so I've just been writing, ukuleleing and doing internet shit. There are lots of things I could write about but I'm too lazy to remember the more significant events in the past so I am going to state what has happened recently. Had school today. Pretty boring- Uranium wasn't there first or second period so I ended up talking to Mercury and found out that he also thinks fidget spinners are cringey as hell (that wasn't the word we used but I'm trying to filter the f word out of my vocabulary) He had a deck of cards in his pocket so we played rummy which was fun. I won the first game, I think. We managed two games before the teacher caught us and told us to stop wasting time. The lesson ended and I saw Uranium in the corridors. She'd got her braces off! She looked good but not having them made her look younger, to me anyway probably because it...

Hello! So, Selenium has been and gone. We had some pretty fun times- on Thursday afternoon we got the bus home. We walked round Trogslight for a while and got some stamps so she could send letters home then went to the sea front. I guess I don't really appreciate where I live that much, but looking at it through someone else's eyes kind of made me realise that my home is almost a beautiful place. It was a cold day. There was this large expanse of sky. It was smokey-white, like a blank piece of paper. It stretched down to the sea, this infinite, rolling grey thing. We walked along the pier, not talking much but I enjoyed her company. We talked a little about Normandy, where she's from and then went home, getting slush on the way (it was literally all she wanted to drink for the next few days). I made lots of tea for her. A lot. On Saturday we went bowling (it was my first time and I lost both games) with Uranium and her exchange student. It was pretty fun, Uranium's e...

Hello, sorry for not posting recently, I've been pretty busy. At the moment, my French Exchange student, Selenium is staying with us. She's nice but we don't have that much in common and we have to use google translate to talk, most of the time. Most of the French students have been sexually harassed by people shouting "I eat ass" or "I have a big penis" in French. Mercury even tried a pick up line on Uranium's exchange student... in poor French so thankfully, she didn't understand. If I knew how to say "Mercury is a sexual predator", I would. Went to social with Lithium, Iodine and Barium + their exchange students. Found out Nitrogen does origami which is pretty dorky but kind of cute at the same time. He asked if I wanted to make an "origami balloon" and then we got into a debate on whether it was even possible to make an balloon by folding paper. Turns out it is... kind of... but they don't look very convincing. ...

Hello. Recently, I've been feeling pretty crappy. For lots of reasons.  At the moment, my mum is taking down my old bed. It's a bunk bed I've had since I was nine or ten (same time I got my room painted orange). Like the orange walls, I've kind of come to hate it. Ahh, ten year old me, what were you thinking? But I'm kind of sad that it's coming down. I always felt safe sleeping on the top bunk, knowing that the Beldam or that thing from Pan's Labyrinth couldn't get to me up there. I'm sleeping on my mattress on the floor for a week until my new bed arrives:  Yeah, it's a pretty sexy bed, I know. Also, if you're wandering what "that thing from Pan's Labyrinth" is then it's this (I'm including this photo second as the first photo you upload is always the thumbnail for the post and I don't really want that to be what people first see).  It's freaking terrifying but Pan's Labyrinth is a re...

Hi, just so you know, I'm writing this at 22;10 and I'm absolutely exhausted so apologies for any typos or if I don't completely make sense. Thanks x. So, I woke up around 06:45, did the usual: brush teeth, do hair, get dressed. Normal things. Got to school at 07:20, yeah, I arrive freakishly early, I'm usually the first one in- it's because my mum's a teacher (maybe I've mentioned this before, maybe I haven't. Oh well, I can't be bothered to check). Thankfully, she doesn't teach at my school but at one further away from home than mine so in order for her to get there on time, I have to be dropped off there really early. I also leave school pretty late, usually, around five-ish, five thirty at latest. Anyway, a lot of people ask me why I don't go to the comprehensive just down the road from me. It would make life a lot easier but I refuse to go there for several reasons- the major ones being: that the school is really crap (I am not quali...

Hello. Going back to school tomorrow... kill me now. So, last night, I stayed up till 5am reading a book called "The Secret Hour" (it's the first book in the Midnighters Trilogy) and OH MY GOD, it's amazing. So, what is this book about? I'll give a brief summary: So there are these extremely old creatures called Darklings (not sure how I feel about the name but nevermind). They're very old... like, ten thousand years old. The Darklings used to feed off humans at night which is why we humans have this primal fear of the dark. But then humans found fire and weapons etc. which scared the Darklings- because they are so old, new stuff scares them. Humans hunted the Darklings almost into extinction so the Darklings made an extra hour, after midnight and they wrapped it up so tightly that almost all humans are unaware of it. It's called the Blue Hour and technology eg. fire, torches, radio doesn't work there because they are so afraid of new things. But, ...

Hello, two posts in a day. Productivity! (Or just me wanting to do anything but revision...) Today I walked into Trogslight with Lithium. Oh yeah, Trogslight is an alias for where I live, sorry that it doesn't fit to the periodic table theme... for a second, I considered "Periodville" before realising what a terrible idea it was. So, Trogslight it is. We went into a graveyard to look around and took some pictures... These were just a few. I used to go into graveyards all the time with my mum, we'd try to find funny names on the headstones. My favourite was "Silas Hake"- probably because it sounded like a vampire name, like Silas from "The Graveyard Book" (Neil Gaiman, read his stuff I'm addicted to it yet traumatised- I watched Coraline when I was six and read the book when I was nine. To this day, I am paranoid that I'll discover that my cupboard is a portal to the Otherworld).  We went into a park but left quickly becaus...

Hello... again. So, yesterday me and my mother went to my friend Tin's house for dinner. Tin is one of my closest friends- we've known each other literally since we were born (one month apart, I was first) and parents were friends before that (well, our dads were... at first). We were best friends in reception- we played those fun imaginary games that five year olds play (okay... we carried on playing imaginary games until we were about nine or ten, not in school though, in his Nan's garden and the bomb shelter). We both shared an appreciation for Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings at a young age (my mum showed me Lord of the Rings in preschool... good parenting... but actually though, I turned out to be moderately intelligent, don't know if it has anything to do with watching good films as a three year old). In year five, I moved schools- we grew apart slightly but saw each other outside of school so it was all good. We ended up going to different secondary schools...

Hello, people. Firstly, I found out people actually read this blog, so... thanks!  Most of you live in the UK, a few in America and one in Belgium and one in Germany. Just to clarify, I'm not a stalker, I just looked on my blog demographics, I swear! But thanks for taking the time to read about my life. Yesterday, I went to IKEA, the large yellow and blue fortress of happiness. To normal people in the real world, going to a large store such would be a relatively mundane occurrence but for me, a teenager living in the middle of nowhere, it's the equivalent of going to Disneyland (to be honest, I'd rather get free IKEA stuff than go to Disney- I wasn't really a Disney kid, I went through a brief "princess" phase but soon grew out of it. Wow, this turned out to be a long bracket). It was a several hour drive to get there. First thing we did was get a hot dog. I enjoyed it, after making myself forget how immensely gross/carcinogenic it was. Scoffed th...

Hello again. Ignore the fact that the thumbnail for my last post was a giant picture of a shoe- I tried to make it smaller but the website decided to be a bitch and made it impossible for me to do so. Err, let me make it up to you with this picture of aesthetically pleasing donuts which I totally made myself and didn't just get off google images by typing in "food":  I hope I've just made your day better although if you're in my position (lying in bed at 1:37 am feeling extremely hungry as all I've had to eat today is a bowl of coco pops, an off brand snickers bar and a cup of chicken and lemongrass soup that doesn't actually contain chicken or lemongrass- it tasted shit by the way and was extremely difficult to swallow) then I've probably just made you hungry. I am extremely hungry.  I'm not starving myself or anything (yeah, we're all so convinced)- food was offered to me except it was leftover spaghetti. I generally dislike I...

Hello. My name is Radium. No, it's obviously not my real name, it's a "screen name" or alias, if you'd prefer. This blog is going to be anonymous so I'll assign everyone (excluding parents- I'll just call them Mum and Dad, like I'd do anyway) an element of the Periodic Table. Rather than giving you an awkward introduction/my entire life story, I've decided that I'll get straight into it... So right now, I'm laying on my bed. The room's almost entirely dark other than the pale blue light coming in through my window and the white light from my computer screen. I had a weird day- in Britan, it's red nose day. Do they do it in other countries? I don't know. Most schools come dressed in non-uniform and there's cake sales and stuff to raise money for charities. Red Nose Day is one of two days that we don't have to wear school uniform. Everyone goes crazy over this and overthinks what they're going to wear, me include...